Anger is a common, unavoidable emotion which could be sparked in many ways – for example, when we misinterpret events or things that people say as being threatening to our own needs and goals, or when our expectations of others or situations are not met.
When we get angry, we tend to raise our voice and say things that we do not mean. If not managed effectively, anger could be destructive when there are violent, uncontrollable outbursts that hurt our friends, colleagues or family members.
The frequency and intensity of anger experienced vary from individual to individual. But what we all have in common is the ability to manage and control our anger effectively.
Managing anger effectively
Here are some useful techniques that you can apply to better manage your anger:
- Take a ‘time out’ when you feel you are getting angry. Getting away from the situation will allow you to re-think the problem in a calmer frame of mind, so you do not make any hasty judgement, or say or do anything that you might regret later.
- Do something physical like going to the gym, brisk walking or running, the next time you feel angry. This allows your attention to be re-focused on an activity which takes you away from the anger-provoking situation. After the activity, you will be able to see things in a clearer way.
- Do deep breathing exercises and some calming activities such as progressive muscle relaxation (Click here). This helps to lower your blood pressure and slow down your heart rate.
- Reduce tension when you are communicating to the other party by using “I” statements when describing the problem. This helps avoid criticising, placing blame and having feelings of defensiveness. For instance, say “I’m upset you did not wash the dishes last night” instead of “You should have washed the dishes last night.”
- Do not hold grudges against those who provoke you. Learn how to forgive, because no one is perfect.
If you feel that you need more help in managing your anger, do consider seeking professional help (Click here)