When your child grows up, gets married and leaves the home to start a new family, or goes for overseas study or work, you may experience a sense of loss. When you’ve spent all your time, attention and money devoted to raising your children for 20 to 30 years or more, life had become centred on them.

To some, this can be a positive change as it offers an opportunity to rekindle the relationship with the spouse. But to others, it can lead to feelings of stress, emptiness, depression, anxiety and loneliness. You may feel sad from decreased involvement in your children’s lives. There may even be feelings of frustration if for example, your children call at the last minute to inform that they won’t come home for the weekly dinner after you have prepared a meal. This new turn of events is difficult and you wish things were the same as before, when the child was living at home.

This situation where children’s departure leaves parents with feelings of emptiness is often referred to as the empty nest syndrome and is common amongst women as they play the role of primary caregiver. It is further compounded by other difficult events happening at the same time such as retirement, coping with increasingly dependent ageing parents, death of a spouse or menopause. You then may feel worthless, disoriented and unsure of what the future holds for you. It is perfectly natural to feel this way, but there are also things you can do to help yourself deal with these emotions.

Coping tips

1. Be true to your feelings – Acknowledge your feelings and do not bury it. Allow yourself to feel upset and do not expect to get over your feelings overnight. It will take some time to adapt to the changes in your life. Take one step at a time. Do not be too hard on yourself.

2. Confide in someone – Consider sharing your thoughts with your friends as they might be able to help put things in perspective. Having someone listen to your problem allows you to get things off your chest and enables you to see things differently.

3. Pursue your hobbies – With more time on your hands, pursue your hobbies and take up new interests such as volunteering or taking a course. Plan a holiday with your spouse and socialise more frequently with your neighbours and friends.
   After some time, you will be able to adjust to these new changes in your life. Try to let go and look at it as a transition to both yourself and your children. As your children embark on a new life, it is also your chance to take control of yours and steer it to wherever you want to go.
   However, if you feel overwhelmed and cannot cope with the situation, do seek professional help.

1. Empty Nest Syndrome is more common among
   1. Primary caregiver
   2. Secondary caregiver
   3. All caregivers

   

2. Name one way of coping with the Empty Nest Syndrome?
   1. Ignoring your feelings
   2. Drink lots of alcohol
   3. Talking to friends

   

3. To those who are unable to cope with their adult child moving out, what is one feeling that they would not face?
   1. Depression
   2. Happiness
   3. Loneliness